Reflections on Erev Rosh Hashana

The year is winding down, tonight starts already Erev Rosh Hashana with all of its special Divine worship, massive selichot (at least for the Ashkenazic communities), Hatarat Nedarim, a break in the shofar that we have been blowing all month long. All with the realization that in another number of hours we will be in a new year with the first event being to be judged for all of our actions, words, and thoughts over the past year, when G-d decrees our fate what will be in the coming year.

With Rosh Hashana begins the Aseret Yemai Teshuvah, the 10 days of Repentance. And yet it doesn’t seem that we do any teshuvah on Rosh Hashanah. We’re not supposed to mention our sins, there’s no viduy, no selichot, no nefilat apayim.

Yom Tov.

What I am thinking, is that, well, an issue that I have been struggling with for years, but in particular this year I brought it out in the open by talking about it with my family: How can it be that a thinking person, who understands like it says in the first se’eef in the Shulchan Aruch that G-d is Present with us every moment, there is no escaping Him, there is no hiding from Him, He sees and hears everything including our thoughts. How can such a person come to do a sin?

A normal child never transgresses the will of his parents in front of them, only when they are not there, not looking. A student doesn’t cheat on a test with the teacher staring right down at him, only when the teacher’s back is turned in a different direction.

So how can it be that a person who believes, and has been taught, and has been trained that G-d is watching his every move, how can he bring himself to do a sin?

What I am thinking is lengthy and built on several ideas, and this is not the time nor the place to expand upon this. But a basic point is Kabbalat Ol Malchut Shamayim. The acceptance of G-d as King. King over everything, everything that is, the whole creation.

This is brought down as being the main theme of Rosh Hashana, Chazal exress themselves “Recite before Me the verses of Malchiot, (a reference to the Mussaf service) so that you can make Me King upon yourselves”.

This is the Teshuva that we do on Rosh Hashana. The basic acceptance of G-d as King. This is something which the lack of it is a major component to our sinning all year long.

Do you know what a King is? I tell my children and grandchildren on Pesach night when talking about Pharoah, “no, children. You don’t know what a king is, we don’t even have a king today that has all of the power of a king of those times”. There’s no president, no head of state, no person in the world with the power that certain kings had through the generations. Pharoah, Nevuchadnetzar, Achashvairosh. People who ruled the whole world.

G-d really Rules the whole world, Controls everything that there is. Yes, He gave free will to man, but how that fits in is certainly beyond the scope of what we can talk about here.

Rosh Hashana is a time to grasp, and to internalize, the G-d is King over everything. Incuding me, and including you. This thought fills the prayers that we say from beginning to end.

Almight’y G-d who loves us more than any love that anyone can fathom, Who wants the best for us more than anyone can understand what Goodness is. And the attribute of strict judgement is only for one purpose, to keep us in check.

As we think about the past year, how much Torah we did or didn’t learn, how many Mitzvot and good deeds that we did or didn’t do, where am I holding in character traits – greed, lust, envy, anger, how has my mouth been over the last year, full of forbidden evil speach or full of words of lovingkindness.

G-d doesn’t expect to become Tzaddikim over night (and usually such a path is not sustainable). But He does want us to improve, to be in an improving direction.

By the way, one has to understand that even though things over the past number of months have been close to getting “out of control” in certain places, one has to know that everything is actually in complete control. Every molecule, every person, everything is in complete control by the One above. Things don’t seem good? So then pray and take upon yourself some aspect of improvement. Because He’s in charge and He’s completely in charge.

My hope and my prayer is that we should all merit to have a good and blessed year, full of happiness and fulfillment and good health. That G-d will take away the plague that He has placed upon us for sooo long, to bring healing to all the sick, and to preserve the good health of the healthy that they should not get sick. A sweet sweet year full of all good blessings.